In the 90’s
Surviving on poverty dreams, summoned to the mountains
Unknowingly and with a lack of consent
I threw myself into a ice crystal monastery, On a dead end street
Invisible to everyone but me
Music came by mail
Only 1 cent to join, But a lifetime of debt
A days journey to town
For the chance of a possible glance, Another soul to affirm I possibly exist
In the store where the checkout clerk
Rolled her eyes at the WIC vouchers
And huffed at my debit card
Declined
Back home, MTV showed lands afar, But who’s Real World was it?
Surely not mine
A life not chosen, But stumbled upon
But I had committed , And could not leave
For there was No path, No Beacon, No hand held out over the cliff’s edge
So I stayed and created my own hand and toe holes
To climb up the sheer cliffs
I breathed life into my sails that laid in a heap on the ship's deck
I grew bones to hold me up and let the music guide my feet
To dance into my self lit sunset
And now
I stand at my secret altar in the forest
Where on a fall day at 7:54am
The sun shines directly on me
Onto the fallen tree behind me
I place another stone
Of things I no longer need
The debt has been paid
And I now chose where I reside
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